He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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