How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
