We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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