Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
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i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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