Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
