this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
