Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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