Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he puts the penis in happiness.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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