your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
