Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
