OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
