Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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