There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize