i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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