did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
