I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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