My first STD was from a foam party
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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