i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
