i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize