Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
