Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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