happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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