his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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