Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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