awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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