I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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