I just pynch a tree in the face
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
