4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
