I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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