Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
