Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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