That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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