He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
