come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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