This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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