i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
