Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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