please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
