sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
