you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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