I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize