her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's never too late to be topless.
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So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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