And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
