sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
