i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
