so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
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Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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