So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
