you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
