But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
