you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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