Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
