I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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