Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
