So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
