Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
