he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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