Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
