she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
