Me. At least after what I've been through.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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