ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
