I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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